I have rarely enjoyed phone sex articles written by other operators. I often feel they exploit the men who are clients or even put down the women in the industry by sometimes discussing what we do as one might talk about a factory. I see and read articles that poke fun at fetishes or callers. I’ve seen articles where an entertainer is making some outlandish demand upon the callers too. I’ve read articles like “I was a Phone Sex Operator for a Month and Here is What I Learned”. Then the articles go into detail about how many men called for a certain type of fetish or talk about one client’s specific fantasy by calling it weird and treating it as “abnormal”. And it all kind of makes me sick. These kinds of articles are breaking the code of trust that we are supposed to have with a client. Privacy is important and while no article names a client… enough details are exposed that should not be. And why the fuck are some of these articles turning clients into snarky humorous jokes?
Many of these articles include an answer to the question “what’s the weirdest call you have ever done”? WHAT? They ALWAYS answer it. Nice way to shame clients in my opinion. Some clients already feel a fleeting moment of shame after they finish their business and hang up the phone. Even the most dedicated callers. Not only is masturbation already a very private thing but many clients share their most secret fantasy. And some asshole comes along to call it weird? I am just not ok with that.
I’m hoping this article might help to change some of the stereotypes. I’ve done past blog posts about stereotypes, ethics, and what I have learned. Please check out some of this old stuff so you can see I consistently dislike this topic and it is a personal agenda of mine to see it change.
The Things I Have Learned from Being a Phone Sex Operator
Breaking Down the Phone Sex Stereotypes
Ethics in the Phone Sex Industry
Now, I have already done a brief article on the things I have learned by being a phone sex operator. So the rest of this article is going to kind of repeat much of it but at a deeper level. I am a sex-positive woman with a healthy attitude toward fantasy and sexuality. I work hard to have that positive mindset in my work as a phone sex operator. And here it is, this work for me has been as educational as much as it has been fun.
I work in an environment where I have the chance to discuss the secrets that people keep to themselves. I’ve learned a lot of things about men, about masturbation, and about secret fantasies. But I’ve also learned some valuable life lessons about other people, about business, and even about myself. I’ve discovered my sexual limits in my personal life from doing calls.
I’ve learned that people are more unique than I previously thought. Talking to so many different personalities, working with other women, and servicing men for several years now, I really learned just how unique all individuals are. Tastes in sexuality are vastly different. And sexuality is a very large part of who we are even though most of that we keep VERY private.
I’ve learned that men who call phone sex lines often do so to “avoid” physically cheating on their wives. And further, sometimes men call me to tell me how hot their wives are. I also often hear about great marriages, adoring their children, and fantasies that include their partner. I hear stories from men about how they could never cheat on their beloved wife, but she may not like a certain sex act, hence their call to me.
I have learned how to communicate with others in many different styles. From the passive-aggressive style to the average “Joe” to the non-communicative. I’ve also learned how to understand a caller’s “need” from their communication style. Sex talk is not always the real reason a client calls. Some clients need to feel heard, need to feel special, need to feel understood. I’ve been able to apply this skill to my regular life as well.
I’ve learned to be 100% sex-positive and realized how much shame some men have about their very normal human desires.
I’ve learned that not all men enjoy porn. Some find it degrading to women and are put off by some of the images in modern pornography. While others may have certain disabilities that are not represented in porn, and they simply cannot “identify” with it at all. I have spoken to many clients who are blind for example. They need a different type of stimulation and for them, phone sex is KING.
I have learned patience to a degree I thought once was not humanly possible. This comes from both hiring women to work for me who have zero computer skills to talking with clients who struggle with social skills. Sure, I can get frustrated quickly but I am capable of regulating myself back to being patient.
I’ve learned that running a business is hard work and that keeping everything both protected and transparent is a real struggle. The women I hire need their safety/privacy protected and the clients need my business, to be honest, and upfront to maintain their control.
I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to about Trademarks, Copyrights, and other legal issues. I have had to fight for things. Although my attorney is awesome. He attended Havard is educated and curses like a motherfucker 🙂
I’ve learned not to make snap judgments about people. I have dealt with some extremely “difficult” clients. Sometimes I would judge them as rude, mean, or just abrasive. Sometimes I thought they didn’t like me but yet they kept calling. I discovered that once I got to know these men a bit that I could ask them if they were having a bad day or some type of life struggle. Usually, they were. By listening, not judging them, and showing a shred of humanity…. they always became much “nicer”. And with that, I learned that showing just a small amount of caring to someone can really brighten their day and make a difference in their life.
I’ve learned to be a mentor to the ladies I have hired. I’ve held classes for them where I am teaching them more about psychology than phone sex. In many ways as a phone sex operator, we can be a sounding board. And there is nothing wrong with a client wanting to discuss sex questions or sexual problems with me. It happens often.
I’ve learned that I like to talk. I learned that I like people. I learned that it’s not easy to run a business. And mainly, I learned that I love my work!
